How Do You Relate to People?

There is a certificate that hangs in the office of legendary investor Warren Buffett informing visitors that he graduated from the Dale Carnegie course.

Carnegie wrote one of the most popular books of all times back in 1938 — How to Win Friends and Influence People.

It was a successful self-help book before self-help books became the extraordinary industry that it is today.

Carnegie had lists about how to relate to people with suggestions like don’t criticize, condemn, or complain; give honest and sincere appreciation; and see things from the point of view of others.

Scott Stockdale (scottstockdale.co.uk) recently offered a contemporary view of relating to people based on ongoing conversations he had with a friend in another country, someone he had never met in person but is energized from long phone calls.

Stockdale stated the calls started with him feeling like he was the only person in the world when they spoke. There was very little chit-chat. His friend tended to jump right in and ask questions that mattered, like — What’s your one over-arching fear? Is this a love-based or fear-based decision? or How did you feel?

When’s the last someone in your sphere asked you those kinds of questions?

Of course, it is common knowledge that relating to other people requires strong listening skills. You know, two ears and one mouth. But, it takes more than listening. It takes being inquisitive. You dig a little deeper…